Dear Professor Brad,
My name is Jing Dao. I am writing this letter to provide you
with a clearer understanding of my life’s journey and to share the goals I want
to achieve at the end of this module.
Since young, I was fascinated by airplanes and devices
surrounding me, questioning my parents about how these machines were made, to
the extent of disassembling laptops and phones to understand the mechanical
assembly. Subsequently, my parents bought me handbooks on the mechanical parts
of daily encountered machinery which sparked my interest and underpinned my
engineering journey. Hence, I chose to pursue a diploma in aeronautical and
aerospace technology at Nanyang Polytechnic (NYP) which further intrigued my
interest in mechanical engineering and led me here, the Singapore Institute of
Technology (SIT).
Before coming to university, I served in the Singapore
Police Force as a ground response officer, responding to emergency calls and
helping people in need. We are constantly exposed to life-threatening situations where we can lose our lives. This has trained my mental strength and
composure while enhancing my confidence level which differentiates me from the
rest of my peers. Additionally, it has enhanced my communication skills and
learn to present myself in public. One of my communication strengths is being
calm and composed when communicating with others in threatening situations. I
once responded to a case of attempted suicide when a person was holding a knife
at wrist point. Fortunately, with the best effort of my partner and I, we
managed to calm the person down and talk him out of that situation. Hence, I
feel that speaking to a large crowd is an easier task than handling a dangerous
situation.
On the other hand, I hope to improve my proficiency level in
English Language. I often struggle in conversations where I am unable to find
words to express my feelings and intention. During my final year project at
Nanyang Polytechnic, I was unable to present my project in layman's terms to the
different courses around the campus, due to the lack of my language
capabilities.
Therefore, throughout the course, I wish to improve my
English Language proficiency and the ability to speak fluently as I believe
practice makes perfect.
Yours Sincerely,
Jing Dao
Edited: 20 November 2022
Commented on Qi Feng, Danish and Amsyar's Blog respectively.
Hello Jing Dao. Appreciate the letter being nicely crafted according to the brief with proper structure. No significant grammar issues spotted as of now. I look forward to working with you whenever the opportunity presents itself in class.
ReplyDeleteDear Danish,
DeleteThank you for taking the time in reading through my blog and provided feedback on my language use and content structure. I will make amendments to my letter and improve from there. Look forward to working with you again!
Regards,
Jing Dao
Hello Jing Dao, I have read your letter and it seems like we pretty much have the same childhood which led us in coming to pursue a career in engineering. Your letter does not have any major grammatical mistakes, however, your sentence for the 2nd paragraph's 1st line has a parallel structure error. The last line of the 2nd paragraph has a preposition error. I also looking forward to working with you in the future.
ReplyDeleteHello Qi Feng,
DeleteGlad to meet someone with the same passion for Engineering! I feel that the 2nd Paragraph's 1st Line is trying to elaborate on the previous points but I will take note of your feedback and think about it. As for the preposition error, thank you for spotting it for me. I will make the necessary amendments to improve my letter writing. See you in class and I look forward to working with you at school!
Regards,
Jing Dao
Hello Jing Dao, the letter is well written with a good flow and structure. However, there are some minor sentence structure issue as well as punctuation issue. I believe you can resolve all this minor issues through this module. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteGreetings Marcus,
DeleteThank you for your compliment! I managed to spot the punctuation error that you are pointing out. I will make the necessary amendments to refine my letter-writing ability. I am looking forward to working with you in class! All the best!
Regards,
Jing Dao
Dear Jing Dao,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise and yet well substantiated letter. I appreciate the well focused content that is aligned with the assignment brief, the clear organization and the generally flawless language use. You've done a very fine job providing detailed supports for each specific topic area, allowing us readers to gain a better understanding of who you are.
From the discussion of your experience in the police as well as your demeanour in class, it's easy to see that you have great potential for further developing leadership skills in our module. I invite you to do that. In terms of challenges, it's clear you can be motivated to work more on your speaking skills, refining your enunciation and ability to articulate ideas on the spot in the presentation portion of our module.
As further developing your writing skills is undoubtedly one of your goals as well, please allow me to point out a couple language issues:
-- We are constantly exposed to threatening situations where one’s life could be in danger. > (Is this past or present?)
-- During my final year project at Nanyang Polytechnic. I was unable to present my project in layman's terms to the different courses around the campus due to the lack of my language capabilities. > (punctuation?)
I look forward to working with you further this term.
Brad
Dear Prof Brad,
DeleteThank you for taking time to read my letter. I truly appreciate it and I will amend the necessary changes. Looking forward to the improvement in my communication skills at the end of your module!
Regards,
Jing Dao